sweet baby jesus i passed statistics, praise the lord

So attention people’s that live on their own and don’t have financial help from anyone BUT themselves…

What are some goals, tips, or anything to get started on for someone who wants to get her own place, and will have to provide for herself?

I really appreciate it!!

Spent Thursday night with my boyfriend - it was so wonderful. He wanted to make the best of it since I was leaving today, and it was. We laughed and loved like we haven’t in so long. And then today at 2:30 we said our goodbyes. It was really hard but he made sure to keep me laughing and said we’d make plans for him to come visit. And it was going really well, being apart and easing my way into the thought of knowing I won’t be seeing him every Friday like it was for the last 7 months, its weird. But then I drove to Portland and when my sister and I switched seats I replied to his two hour old text and it just went down hill from there.

And the part about realizing we’re in different stats, four hours away from each other and not knowing when I’d see him next really started to hit me. All I wanted was to have a normal conversation with him like always but it just didn’t happen, I was getting texts from him every half hour…and please don’t think I’m being this needy brat because he is the same way with me - we text constantly throughout the day and that’s just the dynamic of our relationship; and if him or I take even 20 minutes we ask what happened to each other. But anyway, I last heard from him two hours ago..

And while I noticed he stopped responding was the around the time that I JUST got home to my mothers apartment. The minute I walked in we said hi, and she was happy to see me…and then her extremely drunk self did a 180 and started yelling at me about my school, what my plans were for the future. And went on to tell me that I was an ungrateful person and that I’m going nowhere in my life, and my friends? They’re “toxic” and I should not go back in the fall for many reasons - one of them being I’m not smart enough to finish college. And with that, along with feeling lonely, thinking my wonderful boyfriend was ignoring me because I’m four hours away and was thinking about leaving me…I lost it. I needed Forrest more than anything, he is my rock and the one good thing that is always there for me and is always understanding, but he wasn’t. And my mother just kept going on and on about how shitty I am. I did the most terrible thing and sent a text saying I couldn’t be with him, that along with 3 other texts have gone unanswered along with a phone call. So now we wait and hope he is safe and okay and that he got my calmer text explaining myself…

Not even my cats are making this place worth it, and knowing that I need to find my own place, anywhere but here. This woman and her guilt tripping ways are toxic and unhealthy. Welcome home…

And what else sucks, while I was writing this I over heard my sister saying the school I chose, and my major are pointless and all I’m getting is debt for an education